dead

I'm watching her closely. I can't take my eyes off of her. Where i once saw someone somewhat unintelligent, i now see someone who has gone through things i may never understand. Hope to never understand. A deeper insight.
You can't judge a book by its cover.
And she breaks down and cries. Short blond hair hitting her hands. And curse me. All i can think about is you. Here today. Gone tomorrow. I'm so selfish. So consumed within myself. I'm a fool. And its usually easy to forgive myself.
She's so sad. I wallow. Send a smile her way. Sympathy. Empathy. Which is which? My guilt consumes me. I feel so stupid. Words escape me.
And i can't help it.
I just want to fuck you. Death. They say its an aphrodisiac. Makes you appreciate life. Sick fucks. And my guilt , it still consumes me. I don't want anything to be left unsaid. But you don't want to hear it. You block me out.
A casket. A grave. Death is always lurking. And it consumes me, because we're both very much alive. And there's no excuse for this. Words, exit stage left. Curtain closes. End scene.