the universe may or may not be shifting.

as of lately it seems that men have become quite sensitive. there seems to be some strange role reversal occurring where women are becoming more insensitive, and men, well, are crying a whole fucking lot about pretty much everything under the sun. i mean, i will listen and sympathize with my close friends, but it still feels very odd to have a dude cry for a really long time. what is even more odd is that i have become increasingly insensitive and i am really enjoying it. if i wanted to even so much as date someone half-seriously i would definitely need a MAN in every sense of the word. i mean sharing your feelings and emotions is fine but sometimes i just wanna tell them to MAN THE FUCK UP. thnx.

p.s. will the men come back to us please.

once i thought..

maybe i'm god's idea of a fat joke. then i remembered god and i weren't really down.

fuck ups that fuck up.

so you think you've got your shit together...but, not so much. you pretend you have your shit together which makes you believe you have your shit together. thats more like it. you talk to other people about things and get this sort of friendly reassurance that you've worked hard, you still work hard and you've done better than most..but that confident relief is only momentary. it feels like trying to swim with weights around your ankles. you're in that final stretch. you just want it to be over with. you want to move on, move elsewhere. be alone, start over. i'm almost fucking there. fuck friendly reassurances.

what happens when you stop giving a fuck? is that bad? i think it's pretty fuckin stellar.

no one is ever completely satisfied with anything you do. why are THEY so important?

for the most part, i do what i want and it feels just fine. but when the thoughts catch up, it becomes a downward spiral. so i drink and party and fuck and repeat. i enjoy it. i don't really feel or care. it's perfect for now.

what i really can't wait for is...for it to be over. to really, truly move the fuck on.

for now, i'm a fuck up that just keeps fucking up. fuck yea!